Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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