i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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