I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
