hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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