Your face is a jimmy john
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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