Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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