love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize