Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
