using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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