she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
