who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
