i don't like sucking hair
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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