Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
