my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
