I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
