apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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