We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
