i think my tv is drunk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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