I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This is my gift to your gina
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
