he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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