What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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