Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
