How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
