there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
