I'm pants shitting drunk right now
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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