And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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