It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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