I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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