FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That accounts for only three of the penises
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
