he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
