I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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