You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
