And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm always down for nudity.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
