I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
