Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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