Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
