i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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