He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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