Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
