who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
