Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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