I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
