I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
