remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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