she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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