i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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