they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize