I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
