Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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