i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
