I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
