At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize