if i can run in heels then i can drive
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
