i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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