She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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