your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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