Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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