my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
