Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
