dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
