Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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