apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
false alarm. still invincible.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just had sex on a roof
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
