you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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